Creativity Returns

As you may know, G and his parents and I are hoping to start a vendor booth at the Portland Saturday Market.  We submitted some sample pieces to the market jury and are waiting for approval this week, at least we hope we get approved!  We've converted our dining room / office area at home into a sewing studio.  We've been designing, cutting, sewing and ironing like crazy, building up our inventory of womens' tunic shirts and scarves.  I've had ideas floating around in my head of what I want our booth to look like, and tonight I finally sat down to put it on paper.  I haven't drawn anything in a very long time.  For most of my life I've enjoyed drawing, but in these last few years of pouring into ministry, travels, uprooting, moving, moving and more moving, re-rooting, being pregnant and then losing Rami, I've not taken the time to draw.  I've neglected my need to be creative in many ways.  I used to write much and often, as well as read, hike, dance, and create photographs, but these past few years have not warranted much time for creativity in such ways.  I have missed that part of me so badly.  I'm slowly realizing it's time for me to be creative again.  It's time for me to allow myself the freedom and space to create - whatever it may be and wherever it may lead me.  

I drew up a sketch tonight of what I want our booth at the market to look like.  It's no spectacular or amazing piece of art, but it felt so good to take something from my mind and put it onto paper.  I think, sadly, it may be one of the first times G has ever seen me draw.  He was so cute tonight, intently watching as I worked.

I'm looking forward to this new venture in our lives.  Yesterday was the first day since we lost Rami that I woke up happy – happy - actually feeling positive about my life.  It was pretty amazing to wake up with a lightness about me instead of the heavy darkness I've come so accustomed to.  The heaviness makes it very hard to get out of bed each morning.  The positivity was a welcome change.  It didn't last the entire day, but well into the afternoon at least, and for that I am thankful.  I also feel guilty for it, but I'm working on that too.  

My friend Faith told me recently she believes God supports my desire to be creative, 100%.  I think she’s right.  Oh what freedom and light that brings me.

الحمد لله