Book of Hope: Rest In Peace

I've been reading "The One Year Book of Hope" by Nancy Guthrie.  Taryn gave it to me a few weeks after we lost Rami.  The author lost two of her babies, first a daughter, then a son, early in their infancy to a rare syndrome that she and her husband's genes cause when they make babies together.  Their story is so tragic, yet she is able to find hope in the Lord.  I am so thankful for this book she wrote.  She validates the pain I am in, yet doesn't let me sit and wallow in it.  She uses examples from life and from the Bible.  She challenges me to think, reflect, and yes, to HOPE.

More often than not, her writing for the day brings me to tears because I can so deeply connect with what she has experienced.  Today it wasn't just her writing, but the Bible passages too which brought me to tears.  This is entirely new to me, to read the Bible and be moved to tears!  Here's what she started today's reading with:

The righteous pass away; the godly often die before their time.  And no one seems to care or wonder why.  No one seems to understand that God is protecting them from the evil to come.  For the godly who die will rest in peace.    ~Isaiah 57:1-2

Nancy went on to talk of her grief over the realization of all the things her baby girl (the first baby she lost) would miss out on in this life.  I have had this thought about Rami many times.  Just yesterday I went on a hike in Washington Park and ended up in one of my favorite spots, a place called "Fairy Forest".  I don't know the story of how it came to be called that, but I understand why.  When you walk around in the Fairy Forest, you find all sorts of beautiful little fairy houses at the base of the tall trees.  I don't know who puts them there, but every time I've gone, there they are!  And if you're there on a misty morning as the sun is coming up over the horizon, and you look up toward the sun through the trees, the air actually sparkles.  Fairies!  This is one place Rami would have enjoyed here on this earth.  Yesterday, in my own way, I took him there.  I talked with him in my heart, and since I was the only one there, even out loud.  I found a vacant tree and I built him a little fairy house. 

Then I found a park bench that is planted a little crooked in the ground, so that when you sit on it and lean all the way back and let your head drop behind you, you have an upside down view of the forest.  I think Rami would have loved that.  I felt so sad that he would never enjoy it with me.


As Nancy wrote of all the things her daughter would miss out on, she realized that the place her daughter was going was actually much richer and fuller and more beautiful than this world.  She directed me to two passages of the Bible.  The first, Romans 1:18-32 tells of the world from which God delivers those who die.  She compares that to the world he delivers us to in Revelation 21:1-7.  In this moment, I find peace and hope in having a glimpse of where God has brought my dear Rami into.